Let me ask you a personal question. Are you married? Are you seeing anyone? Oh, you’re married. I can’t say I’m not disappointed. I thought we had some real chemistry. I’ll get over it, though. Honestly, I’m happy for you. It’s good to know you’ve found someone special to spend your life with, or at least someone reasonably decent to share the household chores and help with the mortgage payments.

If you’re married, your spouse should probably be your first choice for an executor. If you have adult children, one or more of them should likely be considered for an alternate executor position. If your spouse or child is mentally incapacitated (has dementia, an unstable mental illness, a debilitating brain injury, etc.), then that’s a good reason not to pick that person. If you’re considering separation or divorce, then your spouse may not be the best pick. In most other circumstances, a spouse and adult children (in that order) are excellent choices for the executor role. If you have no children, a sibling may be a good alternate executor. If you are older and have no children, a niece or nephew can make a good alternate executor.

What? You’re actually single? You just said you were married earlier because I was creeping you out? That’s great! Do you want to go for dinner sometime, maybe check out a movie…? What am I saying?! My partner would kill me! Forget that. Let’s just be friends.

For single people, an adult sibling is usually a good choice for an executor. Parents who are reasonably young and spry may be used for a while, but over the long term, a parent, who is likely to die before you, is not the best choice for an executor. For an only child, a close friend may be the best option. For older single people without adult children, a niece or nephew is worth considering as an alternate executor.